"There was no way I could talk about what I was feeling because I didn't know what it was," she wrote. "So we just had to stay apart."

Kendra admitted that she would blow up at Hank and, at a loss for how to explain what she was feeling, nothing would get resolved. He'd just take baby Hank, leave the room, and they wouldn't talk it out.

She credited her son for helping her snap out of it, which required seeking therapy. "Baby Hank really made me stop, step back and realize, 'If I don't stop acting like this, he's going to pick up on it.'"

Not helping her peace of mind at the time, in 2010 Vivid Entertainment released a sex tape Kendra made when she was 18 with a high school boyfriend, after she had unsuccessfully tried to keep it off the Internet.

"It broke my heart because how can you do that when I have a baby?" she lamented on her show at the time. "I have a kid. I have a husband. It just sucks. It's the hardest thing to deal with right now, and it's hard on Hank. It's hard on him because it involves another guy and it's hard on him because of our son."

Talking to Ryan Seacrest on KIIS-FM that June, she got emotional when she said, "It just had to come out now when I finally cleaned up my life. It wasn't for anybody else's eyes to see except for ours." (Radar Online reported in the meantime that Hank wasn't upset, because he understood it was an experience from the distant past, and that Kendra was paid $680,000 for the release and was going to get 50 percent of future proceeds.)

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